Jupiter Ascending (3D)

First Hit:  All this film has going for it are a few interesting visuals.

Before I knew it, this film descended into the realm of “are you kidding me?” Not only was the premise stupid the execution of this premise was almost as bad.

The only thing that saved it were some of the visuals. Really:  People owned planets in our galaxy? They were divided up amongst 3 people whose job it was is to harvest human specific DNA stuff to make themselves live longer. Their stated goal - to live as long as one can - even unhappily. The planet owners claimed the only worthwhile commodity that exists is time? Titus Abrasax (Douglas Booth), Kalique Abrasax (Tuppence Middleton) and Balem  Abrasax (Eddie Redmayne) owned planets and did the harvesting.

Each wanted the prize planet Earth (of course where most the human type people live). Kalique and Titus live on spacecraft and Balem lives in the red eye of Jupiter which is protected from the gases by some structure he’s built. With Earth being the most desired planet, each of the Abrasax’s kids are trying to find and entice the rightful owner of Earth to give it up to one of them.

Earth is unknowingly owned by earthling Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), who also happens to be their reincarnated mother. When she learns that she owns Earth… OK you may start to get my drift. This story is so far-fetched, complicated and convoluted that it just doesn't (read as "can’t") work. Oh heck, I forgot there is also a hero Cain Wise (Channing Tatum) who flits about on shoes that allow him to skate through life and space at outstanding speeds. Mind you no one else in the film has these skate shoes.

The visuals of the different worlds, of the red eye of Jupiter and the space vehicles are good to very good but that is about it. The dialogue was stilted, the premise undefinable, and the execution miserable.

Kunis was OK, and given the level of story-line, script and direction this is a complement. Booth was bland. Middleton was barely OK. Redmayne was disastrous. The difference between this role and the one as Stephen Hawking is like night and day. Tatum was very disappointing. However for all of these people it wasn’t their acting that brought this down, it was the concept, script and direction. I wonder how they all got bamboozled into taking these roles. Andy and Lana Wachowski did the producers a disservice by actually pitching and making this film.

Overall:  Don’t waste your time. It is bad even in 3D.