Fast and Furious: Hobbs and Shaw

First Hit: A real waste of time to sit through this confusing, nonsensical story.

Granted, there are moments of out-loud laughter, but it is mostly a poorly constructed film and story with little focus or value.

It begins confusingly with a group headed by Hattie (Vanessa Kirby), an MI6 field agent, and a small group of people breaking into a building and/or a truck of some sort to steal a 4-inch glass vial that has some liquid in it. This vial is protected by some computer lock which Hattie is hacking so that she can free and take possession of the jar.

Then, she is attacked by Brixton Lore (Idris Elba), a former rogue MI6 agent, who is part human, part machine. He and the computer entity he represents want the substance in the vial as well. Lore wears a black armored suit that looks similar to the Black Panther suit and rides a motorcycle that bends and does odd things. He is being controlled by a machine that has installed parts into his body that allows him to be strong, quick and analyzes possible punches thrown at him so he can deflect and counter punch. Brixton appears to enjoy these powers.

During the initial scuffle with Hattie, Brixton and his two fellow motorcycle riders manage to kill most of Hattie’s team but fail to get the vial. Hattie has managed to insert the contents of the vial into her body. The liquid materials are supposed to melt the internal organs. I never figured out why the contents didn’t make her insides mush.

Meanwhile, Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), a federal agent working for DSS, is contacted by CIA agent Locke (Ryan Reynolds) who convinces Hobbs he has to go to London and help retrieve this deadly vial of substance. He says OK and makes a point to say he always works alone when Locke says he’ll be teamed up with someone.

At the same time Hobbs is being recruited, so is Shaw (Jason Statham), a former British Special Forces assassin-turned-mercenary. We know Shaw had no love for Hobbs because of a previous encounter when Hobbs jailed Shaw in LA.

When Shaw goes to a prison to visit his mother Queenie (Helen Mirren), we learn that Shaw’s sister is Hattie. During this visit, Shaw and Queenie talk about how Queenie wants Shaw to reconcile with his sister.

When Shaw and Hobbs discover they’ve been teamed up together to recover Hattie, the drug, and to neutralize Brixton, the never-ending competitive macho conversations begin and only to predictably cease at the end of the film. Yes, some of the dialogue is funny, and some of the sight gags are clever, but mostly the setups are ridiculous and the action stupefying.

The film does try to make it personal and heartfelt; Hobbs getting closer to his Samoan family while introducing his daughter to her relatives, and Shaw reuniting with his sister and then, together, seeing their mom in prison.

But the action and heartfelt stuff is pressed, makes little logical sense (like stringing 5 cars and trucks together to pull down a helicopter), and quite frankly wasn’t interesting or exciting. However, what confused me the most was; if this stuff in the vial was supposed to turn someone’s insides to mush and the vial contained enough to threaten the world, why wasn’t Hattie affected by putting the entire vial into her body?

Johnson was his typical self in that he’s gregarious, charming and depends on his brute strength and muscles to solve the problem. He’s the same here, and it is good enough. Statham is adequate in his role of using more brains than brawn but ends up using his brawn trying to show up Hobbs. Kirby was one of the best characters in this film. I enjoyed her the most, but this bar was a low hurdle to clear. Elba was mediocre in this role. It seemed to depend too much on the technology that was inserted and really didn’t allow for a character to emerge. Kevin Hart was a joyful interlude because of his small role as an air marshal on a plane Hobbs and Shaw were on. He asks them to allow him to join their team, and I immediately thought of Joe Pesci’s role as Leo Getz in the “Lethal Weapon” films. But alas they didn’t follow this route. It could have made the movie funny. Reynolds’ brief role was right and probably the only other part that I enjoyed in this film. His sarcastic way of delivering his lines is always fun to watch. I don’t understand why Mirren took this small role. Chris Morgan wrote this ill-conceived screenplay from his own story. David Leitch did what he could, but this film was stupid on paper and as wrong on the screen.

Overall: Ill-conceived and poorly executed, this film just doesn’t work.

the Fate of the Furious

First Hit:  With improbable situations, circumstances and action, it was funny enough to make me stay till the end. There is very little about this film that is remotely believable. I won’t mention them here but when you watch it, you’ll know what I mean.

Somehow in the saga of these Furious films, Dom (Vin Diesel) grew close to someone which created a situation where the result has him go against his "family." Anyone who’s seen these series of films, Dom makes “family” the main thing that no one goes against. So, for Dom to go against his family, the situation must be a big deal.

Introducing him to this situation is Cipher (Charlize Theron) whose role is to be the smartest person on the planet, wants to control the world by living on a plane using high tech tools and have the ability to take control of any computer on the planet. By doing so she plans to use Dom to carry out some of her physical missions and she has just the motivation to make him turn away from family.

The government intelligence agency headed by Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) and his new underling Little Nobody (Scott Eastwood) want to find out why Dom stole a concussion device. To do this they pull the rest of the family together and add Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and Deckard (Jason Statham) to the mix and spare no expense in wrecking expensive cars, tanks, and guns to find Dom, and why he betrayed “family”.

One of the funniest themes through the film was why Tej (Chris “Ludicris” Bridges) was only ranked 11^th on the most wanted list. He throws a fit about this throughout the film.

With no expense held back on making a film that blows up a whole bunch of stuff, wrecking a fleet full of cars, has a submarine chasing cars, and kills a pile of people, F. Gary Gray took Chris Morgan’s script and made it fun.

Diesel was good. I’m not much of a fan of his character because it is always the same one no matter the film. Theron makes a very good bad girl. She pulled this off and was believable (or as believable as one could make this part) enough to not have me cringe. Russell is great. I loved his popping in and out of the film bringing lightheartedness and smarts. Eastwood is fun as the new agent learning the ropes. Johnson is, well, Johnson. His brutishness and size, especially when he’s walking through the prison in the orange jumpsuit, says it all. He can be intimidating. Statham, although not the size of either Diesel or Johnson, has a look and swagger that makes him an equal of the other two in perceived strength. Bridges is really fun and whether he’s unhappy at being 11^th or in the cold weather, he makes everyone smile. Michelle Rodriguez as Letty is carrying on the role she created in the earlier films. She does tough/soft well. Tyrese Gibson as Roman does a great job of being the guy who thinks things through for the team. Nathalie Emmanuel as Ramsey is a perfect complement to Gibson’s "Roman" as part of the team’s brain trust. Morgan’s script was haphazard, had holes in it, and didn’t tie together well but it was fun. Gray must have had fun directing this crew given the script he had.

Overall:  Do not expect this film to make much sense, but it is funny enough, and has enough fun chases to keep you in your seat.

Fast & Furious 6

First Hit:  It was fun however so many of the stunts were so far fetched that it made it unbelievable.

This is one film in a series of films that highlight fast cars, car chases and some sort of crime.

We begin with everyone who participated in the previous film having some portion of $100,000,000 on which they are living the good life. However they cannot return to the United States because they are wanted for robbery. Also in the last film, Dominic Toretto (played by Vin Diesel) lost his love Letty (played by Michelle Rodriguez) in a fiery explosion.

A government investigator Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) is trying to track down an infiltrator named Shaw (Luke Evans) who is stealing items to make some unimaginable weapon (none of this is really clear because the film is more about the chases). Shaw needs only one more item and Hobbs is worried that he'll get it, so he makes a deal with Dom and his Fast & Furious warriors to stop Shaw.

The deal is that they will get absolute pardons for their previous crimes. But this isn’t the reason why they say yes, they say yes because they learn Letty is still alive and under Shaw's control. Tricks like jumping off a car, catching someone in mid-air and then landing on the windshield of another car moving the opposite way and not getting hurt? Right.... Or maybe it was the plane moving quickly down a runway that must have been 5 or more miles long before the plane even got 30 feed off the ground. Just isn't real - there is no such runway. Or maybe it was jumping from a plane and landing in/on a car some 30 feet below. Nope, not lined up like they were - just isn’t real.

I enjoyed the car chases and driving but that was it. “More” and “bigger” is not necessarily better.

Diesel is OK and I felt that the edge is gone and his ability to be believable has been diminished. Paul Walker as Brian is stronger here than he was in the previous films. Johnson was adequate as the government agent. Jordana Brewster as Mia (Brian’s wife) is good in a minor role. Rodriguez is OK but her interpretation of having no memory didn’t work for me. Tyrese Gibson as Roman was funny and enjoyable to watch. Sung Kang and Gal Gadot as Han and Gisele were good but didn't have enough screen time. Ludacris as Taj was funny as well and I liked the way he and Gibson played off each other. Chris Morgan wrote the screenplay and pushed it farther than needed. Justin Lin kept the film moving but some of the stunts were too unbelievable to buy in to.

Overall:  Action was fun, cars were great, but some of the stunts made it unbelievable and therefore I lost interest.

Fast Five

First Hit: Some fun car chases but mostly an unrealistic ill-advised script attempting to masquerade as an interesting film.

Vin Diesel has screen presence as does Dwayne Johnson. In this film they are adversaries and in a country, Brazil, where they are out of their element.

Dom (Diesel), Brian (played by Paul Walker), and Mia (played by Jordana Brewster) have to leave the US because both her brother Dom and her boyfriend Brain are fugitive escaped prisoners from the United States.

The US Government sends Hobbs (Johnson) to bring back these most wanted men but in Brazil the problems are more complex. Dom, Brian, Mia and a crew of misfits want to do one last job where they each will get 11 million dollars.

Their idea is to rob a local mob leader named Reyes (played by Joaquim de Almeida) who illegally runs Rio de Janeiro through drugs, prostitution and other graft. He owns the police and neighborhoods by bribes and giving people the minimum to survive. He wants a car which has been seized by the U.S. DEA. The car has an electronic chip in it that tracks where his money is collected and when all of it is transferred to banks. Dom and Brian find the chip and plan a robbery.

Reyes, worried about a theft, puts all his money (over $100 million) in a safe which is in the basement of the main police station. However Dom and Brian take two cars and some cable and are able to drag a multi-ton safe filled with money all around Rio (Yeah, sure). Hobbs is simply trying to catch Dom and Brian but runs into problems because he tries to strong arm Reyes thugs with his American arrogance. This gets everyone to be shooting everyone. 

Granted some of the car scenes are fun to watch and I would have like to seen a list of the cars used in the credits but, it just didn’t happen that way even though after a majority of the credits rolled there was a clip of more film. (Yes folks, I sit through the credits.)

Diesel was, as he usually is, gruff with a soft heart and plays a good outlaw. Walker is a pretty face but his role is marginalized and minimized by stronger actors. Brewster is attractive. Johnson is always a dynamic person on the screen and here he is thuggish and righteous. Almeida is very good in his role as tough master criminal. Chris Morgan and Gary Scott Thompson wrote this unrealistic script. Justin Lin spent a lot of money blowing things up, car chases, wrecking cars and creating long complex foot chases. The difference between amazing foot chases and long and uninteresting foot chases is to watch Daniel Craig in Casino Royale and this one. Craig’s chase is amazing.

Overall: This “Fast” series needs to end as the stories and execution are getting worse and worse.